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Ralph’s Retirement Ramblings: Does this only happen to me?

By Ralph Cwik
Citizen Journalist

Once you retire, you have this feeling, at first, that you have all of the time in the world to do the things that you wanted to do but always put off. That was the feeling that I had when I retired five years ago.

Ralph Cwik

That was until my wife joined the women’s organization at our church. As a spouse, if your wife or husband joins an organization or club, you are also volunteered to help in the functions. They may be minor, at first, but as time goes on they can mount up to require more and more time and effort.

It starts with something like, “Can you help me with some typing on the computer?” Then it generates into helping set up for functions and participating in the function. This happens for both spouses. If a husband belongs to a club, he may ask his wife to possibly bake some cookies or help with the preparation of the food for a dinner party.

Then, the longer the spouse belongs to the organization, they might become officers in the group. Once you become an officer, your duties are multiplied, and so do the spouse’s duties because he or she is the only one available at the time.

There are many stories that I can tell about helping out. One that comes to mind is a Father’s Day breakfast. Our church has the women prepare a breakfast for the fathers on Father’s Day, and the men prepare breakfast for the women on Mother’s Day. Of course, it’s always strange because the women prepare the breakfast they would like to eat, such as quiche or French bread pudding, and the men prepare what they would like to eat, such as eggs, three meats and potatoes.

Now keep in mind, this is supposed to be a breakfast for the fathers. I am not only a father but also a grandfather. My wife asks me to go along with her when the women meet the day before to start the breakfast. We arrive at the social hall, expecting more people to show up to help. Well, the women were there to prepare the food, but there is no one to help set up the tables. So I start setting up the tables, again expecting someone to show up to help but to no avail; my wife and I put every table up for the Father’s Day breakfast.

Another time is when we help decorate the church for Easter or Christmas. There is a lot of camaraderie among the volunteers. But when the decorating is done, the clean up begins.

Of course, as you read this article, you may start to think that I am complaining about this situation, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Being a spouse of someone who belongs to a club could and should be fun. The first positive benefit is that there is an opportunity to meet new people and develop new friendships. This happens because others who belong to the group also bring their spouses to help. Then there are the summer and Christmas parties that both spouses are invited to attend.

Of course, the rewards for helping in church functions or for doing good deeds that the organizations provide far outweigh any other reason for helping when asked.

So if or when your spouse joins a club or volunteers to help, be prepared to be included. You can enjoy spending time with other people, helping in the function or making new friends.

And keep in mind that it may be you who volunteers and brings your spouse along.

Related articles:

• Ralph’s Retirement Ramblings: The sandwich generation
• Ralph’s retirement ramblings: Christmas in retirement
• Ralph’s retirement ramblings: March 4

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